Misadventure in Thailand: An Unwanted Massage in the Men's Room

09:01 Amy 4 Comments

My fiance is a very polite man.  So polite in fact, that he finds it really difficult to say no to people.  This story took place not in Chiang Mai, you'll be pleased to hear, but in Nang Rong, a tiny town in the middle of nowhere.

My boyfriend, my best friend and I went to an evening of live Thai country music and whiskey in a big converted barn.  After a while the whiskey was taking effect and my boyfriend needed to pee.

What happened to him in the bathroom that night would stay with him forever.

Whilst he was standing at the urinal, an old friendly looking Thai guy came over... and started massaging his shoulders.  Whilst my boyfriend was peeing.  He laughed nervously and tried to speak a little Thai: "Mai, mai, mai."  The man carried on, so my boyfriend carried on saying 'mai, mai', whilst everyone else (all Thai men) laughed.

He eventually managed to pee through all the massaging and laughter.  Then what did he do?

He only went ahead and paid  the guy for his massage!

20 baht for a massage he didn't ask for or want, in the most awkward situation ever!

I was waiting for my boyfriend when he came rushing out of the toilets.  I could tell something was up, but he only said through gritted teeth: "Let's go.  Let's go.  Come on.  Now."

When we got back to the safety of our table, he revealed his bathroom experience...

"Can you imagine how difficult it is to pee whilst a random old man is digging his thumbs into your back?"

I laughed.  My best friend laughed.  Luckily, my boyfriend laughed too, so I felt fine about laughing about it all night.  I just couldn't believe that he paid the man.

Thinking back now, surely what happened shouldn't have happened.  That old Thai guy must have realised that my boyfriend didn't want his unrequested massage to continue.  Or... was it really something that happens to everyone, Thai or foreign?  Though it makes for a funny story and we still laugh about it now, since then, we have both been a lot firmer when saying we don't want something.

So what's the deal?  Is this a normal thing to happen in rural Thailand bars, or is my boyfriend just a poor unlucky polite man?

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